Shaq Fu: A Legend Reborn - Nintendo Switch

On Tuesday I stopped by GameStop to pick up my pre-ordered copy of the new Shaq Fu game. Yes.

The game was crowdfunded on Indiegogo in 2014 and has been in development for the better part of 4 years. The premise is as follows: You play as Shaq Fei Hung, a Chinese orphan from the town of Hunglow, as he embarks on a quest to save humanity from demonic monsters masquerading as celebrities. It's chock full of animated cutscenes, cringe-worthy humor, and features the vocal talents of Shaq himself.

The gameplay is pretty standard beat 'em up fare; there's a basic attack, the "size 22" combo attack and the "Shaq-wave" which can take out multiple enemies at once but requires energy to perform. Shaq can charge towards enemies, jump and roll out of the way of oncoming attacks. It's basically Streets of Rage with Shaq.

At different points in the game Shaq will don the "Diesel" suit which turns him into an unstoppable juggernaut and the "Shaqtus" power-up, which transforms him into a spine-throwing cactus. These power-ups appear at set points in the game and are unavoidable, but they do offer some much-needed variety to the standard combat.

It should be noted that Shaq Fu: A Legend Reborn is exclusively single player--the COOP and VS modes that were promised on Indiegogo are nowhere to be found. There are 6 levels for you to mash your way through, each containing multiple check points and ending with a final boss. The boss fights all contain an annoying glitch which results in the character model flipping when Shaq goes behind it--it doesn't affect the gameplay, but it's pretty jarring .

The graphics and sound are passable and the core gameplay is actually pretty solid--it can get a little repetitive at times, but that kind of comes with the territory. The controls are responsive and the game ran smooth on the Switch with no slowdowns. The entire game only takes about 3 hours to complete.

Although it might not be the "instant classic" that was promised, Shaq Fu: A Legend Reborn is not too bad. It's fun while it lasts, but $40 for the physical cartridge is way too much for how short it is. There are certainly better beat 'em ups out there, but none of them star Shaq; for that reason I give this game two and a half out of five Shaqti.

If you happen to be in the market for a game in which Shaq transforms into a cactus to take out Nazis and Klansman, look no further!

Fun with Tech Support

Yesterday, in the midst of an all-around brutal day, I started getting emails from Microsoft regarding my account. I ended up getting 5 emails in total, detailing various attempts to verify and change the password associated with my account. The problem is that I don't have a Microsoft account; it looks like someone created an account with my email address and was now attempting to access it.

So I called Microsoft, assuming that once I explained the situation they could either remove my email from the account or just delete it since it was created under false pretenses. I ended up spending over two and a half hours on the phone with them, with at least an hour of that time being spent waiting on hold. I got no help whatsoever; as a matter of fact, it took 2 hours and 3 different people for me to get someone that was even able to comprehend the issue. They couldn't seem to get past the idea that I didn't create the account, so I didn't have the information needed to reset the password and delete the account myself.

At this point it should be noted that I was asked for my name (Seth) at the start of the call. Once I finally got someone that understood the problem, she looked up the account to see if there was anything that could be done on their end. To confirm that the account was not mine, and in the interest of resolving the issue, she asked "Seth, is your full name Yolanda?"

No, it is not.

Gene Simmons at the Lynn Memorial Auditiorium 2/16/2018

Last Friday I had the opportunity to see Gene Simmons solo at the Lynn Memorial Auditorium. Gene Simmons debuted his solo band early last year, and the shows have been getting pretty good marks on account of some deep cuts in the setlists. As a card-carrying member of the KISS army I couldn't pass up the chance to hear some of my favorite rarities played live, despite that I was recovering from a pretty brutal cold.

I was able to score floor seats off StubHub for $27 each after fees ($79 face value!), so I didn't feel bad about leaving late and skipping the opener (and traffic hour). By the time we got inside and made it to our seats it was around 8 PM and the band was on stage within 15 minutes.

I've been to a handful of KISS concerts and can tell you that Gene Simmons solo is an entirely different animal. KISS is a well-oiled machine with choreographed spots and top-notch production; this was very intimate and off-the-cuff by comparison. Throughout the show Gene invited members of the audience on stage to sing along and, despite saying that he wasn't going to talk much, proceeded to banter between every single song. Gene sang lead on most of the songs, but two special guests were invited on stage to sing; early in the set a local blind kid came up to sing Calling Dr. Love and absolutely brought the house down ("let me see your hands!"). Later on Gary Cherone from Extreme sang Strutter.

Gene and the the band sounded pretty damn good, although that's not to say that the show went on without a hitch--there was a false start during the cover of Help! and Charisma had to be stopped and restarted from the solo when Gene came in too early. Considering that this was the first time some of these songs were ever played live, a few hiccups are understandable

The setlist was a pretty even mix of rarities and hits, with a couple covers thrown in for good measure. As awesome and surreal as it was to hear songs like Sweet Pain and Charisma live, they didn't seem to get the audience reaction that Deuce and I Love it Loud got. The show was unabashedly geared toward the hardcore KISS fans that have been following the band for years and have an encyclopedic knowledge of their music. From that perspective it was a real treat, although I can see how casual fans might find themselves a little lost; I saw a couple people walk out during It's My Life, a song that was demoed but never officially released by KISS.

After Rock And Roll All Nite the house lights came on--there was no encore, which was by design rather than lack of enthusiasm. Planned encores are kind of an oxymoron, and a bit overblown as far as concert cliches go.

No self-respecting KISS fan should pass up the chance to attend one of these shows. I've seen Ace Frehley live twice and this show was every bit as good.  You wanted the best, you got the best!

Setlist
1. Deuce
2. Shout It Out Loud
3. Are You Ready
4. Parasite
5. Calling Dr Love
6. Do You Love Me
7. Almost Human
8. Long Tall Sally
9. I
10. Help!
11. I Love It Loud
12. War Machine
13. Strutter
14. Sweet Pain
15. She's So European
16. Charisma
17. It's My Life
18. Rock And Roll All Nite